We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
