i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
