Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
