Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
