thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
