WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
