trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize