Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
