one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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