OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
