Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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