I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She's the barista slut.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
