I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
