; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
