You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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