Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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