why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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