how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im having a threesome with these popsicles
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just googled if crying burns calories
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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