Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
