Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
