you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
