Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
