i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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