I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
