i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
