So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
