We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize