I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
