to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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