Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
