My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize