He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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