Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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