I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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