Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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