It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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