Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
