3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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