you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
