i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
