My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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