I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Green mimosas i think yes
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
