And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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