Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
