Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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