I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
