just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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