i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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