it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
