Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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