Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
