My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
