I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
