The maid of honor just puked.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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