I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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