he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
