I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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