thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
