super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
