did you get engaged???
we have pet lesbian snakes
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize