So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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