fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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