i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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